Katie answers some spam comments (and book announcement)

I get literally dozens of these comments every day; I’m not sure why, but one blog post in particular seems to get most of the comments. Bizarre. I can tell if they’re spam because the link doesn’t match the email address and the name is usually not filled out with a name; it’s been given a spammy headline instead, like “Get Cheap Bobble Hats Here” (sadly, they’re never, “Get Cheap Canes Here”). Then there is the content of these comments. They’re irrelevant, they’re often senseless, and almost always written in broken English. So here is a miniature hall of shame for some of the silliest ones (and at the bottom, there’s a HUGE announcement about my next book). To view each comment more clearly, zoom in with the buttons “ctrl +” and zoom out by pressing “ctrl -” or zoom out by clicking the magnifying glass in the top right of the screen when you’re zoomed in.

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dear ade replies to spam wendys burn

Dear Ade (may I call you Ade? I mean it’s usually short for Adrian but in your case it seemed appropriate),
Thank you for making me aware that you have compiled a listing of the highest rated and hottest trainers. Do you mean the footwear (i.e. sneakers) or a list of people like the lady at the gym, who yells at me to do more stomach crunches? Would love to hear more,
Katie xxxx

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dear seaside spammy comment burn

Dear S.R.,
I’d like to make you aware that in the last 30 days you have posted at least 17 times. Unfortunately, the comments you have written are both nonsensical and off-topic; additionally I suspect that your contact emails are a fake. Does anyone have 17 different email addresses? I think not. So far, your emails have claimed to be from Wilhelmina, Jeremy, Lester, Jeannine, Greta, Fae, Celeste, Lara, Marisa, Oliver, Hollie, Alberto, Shavonne, Octavia, Brittny and Madeleine. Some of you either have dreadfully unfortunate parentage, or you appear incapable of spelling your own names. I would make you all stand in the corner, but I’d need a room the shape of a dodecahedron to fit you all in.
Please do watch out for brussels.
Katie xxxx
P.S. Here are some examples of your comments:

dear seaside spammy comment burn 2

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Dear Message,
Thank-you so much for your comment. I’m assuming you’re human, although robot is a possibility. Your name and website URL imply that you want to write Valentine’s messages for people. I think your time would be better spent learning to write sentences that make sense, and which are relevant to the post on which you are commenting. Furthermore, this is 10 days late for Valentine’s day. I am curious as to who Nicholas S. is, who “she” is (is “she” Nicholas S?), and where on my entire website you found a guide to anything at all.
Katie xxxx

dear supervisor comment burn replying to stupid comments

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Dear Yeezys,
Thank you for bringing this to my attention. Shopping bodily sounds ghastly, like some sort of strange world where unclothed torsos are wandering around with nowhere to put their credit card. I think I’d much rather go to a mall.
Katie xxxx

dear yeezys answering silly comments burn

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Dear Curry,
Thank you for your comment. Please do not put curry in your footwear. The stains will never come out.
Katie xxxx

dear curry stupid spammy comments burn

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Dear August,
I’m so glad your workfellow purchased you dinner as a result of my article. Please do let me know how his analysis went. I’d love to see a Chi-squared of spanking literature.
Katie xxxx

dear august spam sick burn troll comments

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And then there’s the ones that don’t make any sense no matter which way you stare at them:

dear three stooges spammy reply comments trolling burn

Dear The Three Stooges,
I would like to make you aware that this is a spanking blog. You want a gobbledegook blog. Here’s one: http://blog-o-nonsense.blogspot.co.uk/
Knock yourself out. Literally.
Katie xxxx

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dear forieng language spam trolls get burned

Dear Fietskadertop,
If you understood enough of my blog post to feel moved to comment, you are capable of doing so in English.
Katie xxxx

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In other news, Her Vampire Mistresses, a girl-on-girl-on-girl three way erotic spanking romance, is out next Friday! It’s time to put your Kindle in the deep freeze for a week because this one is smoking hot! It’s set against a backdrop of stunning European scenery such as the city of Prague, a ruined castle in the south of France and a mountain chateau in Switzerland. I’m sure you’re going to adore it.

Lots of love,
Katie xxxx

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Published by

KatieDouglas

I am the author of several spanking, BDSM and ageplay books, as well as the artist behind Corner Time Now, the Saturday-updating spanking and CP webcomic. I play the ukulele (badly), I like instant noodles way more than anyone should, and I'm currently in grad school studying an obscure science.

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