It won’t fit!

So we are immigrating to Asia soon, and our house has been a flurry of activity (which is why I’m not getting this blog updated as many times as I’d like), alongside my nearly-finished MSc thesis and the two books I’m editing before I send them in (you’re gonna LOVE these).

Anyway, one issue we’ve had is that we’ve been taking stock of our sex toys. Restraints, buzzy things, swishy things, hitty things (that feather on a stick that seemed like SUCH a great idea but only got used twice then hung up as a decoration)… we had about four big stacking crates, and a homemade cane stand the size of one of those umbrella stands.

Long story short… it won’t fit. We can’t put all of it into a suitcase and get it to the other end, even IF we didn’t want to wear clothes or shoes, or read real books written in English when we arrived. My suitcase is mostly books and shoes, as I suspect these are the things I’ll struggle to find (I have hulking great ginormous feet). On top of that, some of it was getting old, some of it was stuff he had before he got me, and some of it never quite did what it was supposed to. I know, domly doms aren’t supposed to buy sex toys that don’t do what they said on their online listing, but it happens to all of us from time to time, and sometimes you don’t find out until LONG after the returns date has passed.

I digress.

We have to get rid of all this stuff and pare down to the essentials. At this point, I could list on one hand the stuff we use more than once a week, and on two hands the stuff we use monthly. We’re at a point where we know what works best so we tend to gravitate towards that. I’ve already chucked out about 50 liters of defunct sex toys, old rope, out of date lube (I am chronically indecisive; when I want to try something new, if I can afford it, I tend to buy a selection then stick with my favorite FOREVER, and if I can’t afford it, I don’t buy any because the decision is too hard) etc. Unfortunately, we lost two canes already this year. He broke one when he hit me with it too hard and it snapped, and I broke one when I reached back and snapped it and I STILL DON’T KNOW WHY I DID IT. Then a third cane somehow got deformed in the place we keep them, and now it doesn’t cane so good. So we’re down to one cane. At the same time, our riding crop is showing serious signs of wear and the shiny leather surface has worn through in many places to that green-gray suede-like stuff underneath.

So, on our way back from a wedding, we found ourselves in a sex shop off the side of the A1(M) motorway last week (as one is wont to do). This place was huge, it had entire aisles of things.

While I was getting excited over the possibilities of getting one of those giant inflating butt plugs, my husband was weighing up the merits of the unanswerable question: Cane or crop? So he summoned me over and I was still holding a remote control vibe I’d found that looked like awesome fun, and he made me hold out my hand in the shop and SMACK! That riding crop was SERIOUS. I don’t know if ours has softened over the years or if it was ever as hard as that one but holy smokes, my hand had a red welt on it for ages after and driving the car the rest of the way home was entertaining to say the least (I mean, I was literally giggling). The lady behind the counter was highly amused, and I suspect we’re not the first people to try implements out in the shop. And I didn’t test that inflating butt plug.

Did I mention he was wearing a 3 piece suit with a waistcoat and I was in one of those wedding guest dresses (no hat. Fancy hats do NOT suit me)?

What did he buy? Both. Cane and crop. Brand new. Super-mean. And they fit in our suitcases.

I hope Asia has lots of soft squishy cushions to sit on.

A Little Picnic

A couple of weeks ago I didn’t really feel like eating lunch, and I couldn’t decide what to have. I was heading for grumpytown when my grownup intervened and told me to have a sandwich. I didn’t feel like having a sandwich, and I really didn’t feel like buttering bread, but then I had an idea.

First, I went upstairs and brushed my hair into two pigtails, and added some fun bow clips I found recently for 40p per pair at Home Bargains. Then I put on my babygrow and got my grownup to fasten the poppers. I’m usually about 4-6 when we play, but sometimes I go a bit younger. I’ve never quite gotten the hang of the whole total dependence thing though.

I went to the special storage above the stairs, where my stuffies are kept (sadly, they don’t all fit in our bed or on the sofa), and I picked out a few of my favorites (does anyone else get a bit sad about the toys that get left out of regular use or is it me?) then I got my favorite blankie which I spread on the floor, and I made a tray of food and had a teddy bear’s picnic in the living room. It was so much fun!

Here are some photos:

Picnic with my favorite toys ageplay alg littles daddy dom
This was my picnic. There was healthy banana and grapes, and there was orange juice in my sippy cup, and there was Vegemite in my sandwich (it’s this Australian spread stuff).
Picnic with my favorite toys ageplay alg littles daddy
Another view of my picnic. The toys (clockwise, starting with the purple one on the left) are called: BigPon, PonPon, Kermit, Flessent, Rainbow, Misty and Winnie the Pooh.
Picnic with my favorite toys ageplay alg littles daddy dom
Feeding PonPon, one of my big purple unicorns. He needs his orange juice too!
Picnic with my favorite toys ageplay alg littles daddy dom
Rainbow also wanted some orange juice, although she didn’t really need it since she already has lots of orange in her mane and tail.

Can you tell how much I like unicorns? Once I ate all my food, I put the tray away but my toys stayed out for the rest of the day because I wasn’t quite ready to say bye to them yet.

One day, I’d like to have a picnic like this outside on a summery day. Maybe if we ever own acres and acres of land where we can put up lots of high fences.

Lots of love,
Katie xxxx